non-stop erotic dancing

Here are some words and history that must be forthwith introduced into the public unconsciousness and also the public consciousness. The former is better because they won’t know what the heck is going on:

pepperjack (vb): to perform an act which results in someone (male) being kicked with excessive force in the testicles and up the ass simultaneously. Usu passive. hopefully used in a figurative context i.e. “this school work’s got me pepperjacked!”. can also be used as a separable prefix verb i.e. “that shit jacked my pepper!”
Variants: peckerjack – usu used by Mexican immigrant workers.
Sometimes seen as the masculine equivalent of being “fucked sideways by a cactus” (or “cacti”, in extreme circumstances)

mumareuther (vb): to cause a situation, person, item or location to become unavoidably awesome

William Trotterburg Fuck (1852-1894)
An angry poet who wrote trite imitations of the romantic masters such as Blake and Shelley. His best known work is probably “Reflections on Dicking Around in the Pantry After Work on Thursday”. Some scholars believe his works were intended to be satirical, though most agree they’re just terrible. His name is often used as an expression of anger or confusion (usu both concurrently) in an attempt to invoke his indignant and foul-tongued spirit. The most common form of this practice involves the spelling or speaking of his three initials– W.T.F. A much better method, however, is to say his first two initials and then exclaim his surname vigorously-– doubleyoutee-FUCK!
If you want to really impress your relatives, use his full name and mention that he’s from Essex and preferred the back of the carriage to the hayloft. Especially if your relatives are also from Essex and prefer the back of the carriage to the hayloft, if you know what I mean.

biblethump (vb): colloquial. dryhumping, if you know what I mean. Cause it’s funnier and better. Also more tactful, and confusing. And confusion is sexy.

pomosexual (adj): Postmodernism is sometimes rather oddly shortened into “pomo.” I think we all know what sexual means. Postmodernism is of course rather difficult to fully and briefly define, but one of the big tenants of postmodernism is Self-Referentiality (who lives in number seven and has a door that’s a mirror). So then pomosexuality would logically be self-referential sex, ie masturbation. Pronounced po-mo-secks-you-uhl, and with a lot of tongue.

That’s it for now.

As an addendum, 143 Emerson Attic finally has l’internet.

The internet man did come out of his van, despite the rain. Nonetheless, Cogeco still has a nice big stack of “hey you, yeah you, fuck you!” coming to them. They discovered that Ian had an account with them two years ago that he then cancelled, so they gave him the same name and password required to activate the internet that he obviously would have no reason to keep record of, and then kept him on hold for about half an hour trying to figure out what it was. And then some more tedious ‘your call is important to us’ bullshit which I won’t bother sharing the details of. I was so excited, too. When the internet man came out of his van it was almost like Christmas. Oh well. Way to go, guys.

I know some of you were trying to leave comments here about how you couldn’t leave comments, but now I’ve reversed the situation and you should be able to leave comments about how you can! And soon the pictures will actually work.